Spotlight

UCI Undergraduate Aleisha G. Lew shares "Belonging: A Chinese American's Reflection on COVID-19"

A picture of me in 2nd grade; during this time, I didn’t have to worry about what I looked like.

Aleisha Lew
Before the pandemic happened, I constantly asked myself: “What does it mean to ‘look’ like a Chinese American? Is there a proper way to celebrate the culture that is accepted by everyone in my community? And more importantly, what is the community I belong to?” I was told by multiple people that I didn’t look Chinese. My friends would bet on what I was, celebrating my racial ambiguity with a guessing game. But this is not just about me. Strangely, after everything happened, I started to realize that I might not be the only one who struggles with obscure definitions.

I am a fourth year drama student and I identify as Chinese American. I’m very afraid of what the world will be once this pandemic ends. I wonder if I will be safe if I leave my house. I wonder— even if I’m sitting in my car—will someone try to kill me? Will people throw stones or racial slurs at me? Since the first case of COVID-19 in the U.S., the scale of lay people policing individuals has increased tremendously. I have been made hyper-aware of my presence in public spaces: people watch me in the corner, glance at me as I walk past them, or when I’m sitting at the bus stop. But at least home is still relatively safe for me. What does home mean to Breonna Taylor? Are there any safe, protected, and private/public spaces for her? While my spatial safety has become limited recently, did it ever exist for black communities?

I am very worried. I fear the continuing effect of racism both domestically and globally. I am very concerned about what life will be like after the pandemic. I can’t sleep when thinking about what the next few months will be. My heart trembles for people who are dying in the hospitals and in the streets. I am also worried that family members and friends who identify as Asian American will be targeted for hate crimes. Although the category of “Chinese American” might be too narrow for my existence, it is quite broad for others, as it “shelters” many Asian Americans who are not of Chinese descent nowadays. Many people outside of the Asian American communities reductively assume that Chinese Americans and Asian Americans are interchangeable.

The current administration’s claim that this pandemic is caused by the Chinese is, in effect, encouragement to target Asian American communities. The people who are behind these hate crimes do not consider whether or not a person identifies as Chinese American or Asian American. Many people only focus on what a person looks like; our nation is built on prejudice and the belief that skin color defines us even though many leaders such as W.E.B. Du Bois, Martin Luther King, Angela Davis, Malcolm X and Rosa Parks have fought against that notion. My Asian American communities, we have activists who have fought for a better world. Those activists include Grace Lee Boggs, who fought alongside Malcom X and Martin Luther King and wanted to alleviate poverty in Detroit’s black neighborhoods; Yuri Kochiyama, who was present at Malcom X’s death and fought for the Civil Liberties Act of 1988 to be passed; Kamaladevi Chattopadhyay, who spoke out against discrimination and encouraged racial solidarity; and Larry Itilong who sparked the fight for better rights for farm laborers. We are a part of the story, even if many think otherwise. As this pandemic continues to go on, Asian Americans should realize the ugly truths of the nation: we are not exempt from racial injustice and we must take action to guarantee everyone has a future in this country.

As the next generation of Asian American communities, we must understand that this isn’t a fight we face alone. Our struggle is a struggle, too, like the indigenous struggle, the Black struggle, and the Brown struggle. The pandemic is causing death, destruction and suffering. This is our moment to take a stand and make changes. There is no time to wait, my communities.