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Mr. & Mrs. Lap
Mrs. Lap was talking to those around her when Mr. Lap returned. He told her he’d been at home and that he had some things for her. Mrs. Lap immediately opened the letter. It read: We didn’t think that we would ever be far away from you because we have always been together. Please wear these bracelets so that you can remember us every time you look at them. I gave you two to represent Ngoc-Thuy and me. You need to go so you can take care of the children. We don’t have a family yet so we’ll be ok. We don’t know what’s going to happen to us. We don’t know if we can leave yet, but hopefully one day we will be reunited. If we can’t be, then please take care of yourself.
Mrs. Lap could barely get through the letter. She loved her two sisters as much as she loved her husband and children. The three of them had been inseparable. Ever since their mother died during childbirth, Mrs. Lap had vowed to care for them no matter what. Now, at age 29, Mrs. Lap took responsibility for Ngoc-Van, 24, and Ngoc-Thuy, 20. Upon arrival at the air base, she had asked Mr. Lap if there was any way her sisters could go, too. Mr. Lap was gentle, but firm. “No, we can’t. The Air Force has a specific list that allows only the wives and children to go. Just be happy they allow that many. We can’t ask for more.”
After reading her sisters’ letter, it now occurred to Mrs. Lap that she would likely never see Ngoc-Van and Ngoc-Thuy again. She tried to stay strong by telling herself that she must leave for her family’s future, that even though she could not take her sisters, at least she still had her husband and children. Mrs. Lap then tucked the letter in a safe place and put on the bracelets.
At midnight, Mr. Lap returned to his office, which was a trailer located on the air base. He was not allowed to stay in the civilians’ section with his wife and children. He told Mrs. Lap he would see her in the morning. After he left, she spent the night nodding off, unable to sleep.
Mr. Lap came back to the civilian area at 4 a.m. All of the adults and children anxiously awaited further instruction. Finally, at 8 a.m., an American official with a speakerphone ordered everyone to be ready. In 15 minutes, a bus would transport them to the airplane.
It did not take long for the Laps to gather their things. After all, they had only the one small bag they’d packed in half an hour. Soon the bus arrived. The American official held a list of names in his hands and started calling them off to determine who would board first. He reached Mrs. Lap and her children. Mrs. Lap looked at her husband. He told her to go on because women and children were first. Mrs. Lap did what she was told and found a seat toward the back of the bus. She felt uneasy when she saw that Mr. Lap was still not on the bus. I will just have to wait. He will get on after the women and children.
The bus filled up quickly. Where is my husband going to sit? Then the door began to close. Mrs. Lap fought her way to a window and pried it opened. She saw Mr. Lap still standing outside, wiping tears from his face. Then she knew. Mrs. Lap finally understood why her husband had been especially quiet the night before. Mr. Lap feared that if he spoke too much, he would reveal the heavy secret he had been keeping from her. He knew that she would not want to go if he couldn’t join them. Mrs. Lap called out to him with a desperate hope that he could still get on the bus with her. She could see his mouth move, and strained to hear him. “They told me that only wives and children could go. They want me to stay and be prepared to fight. I can’t go, but I’ll try to find a way to be with you again. Just take care of the children. Don’t worry, I will do everything I can to see you again. Please take care.” Those were his last words to her as the bus drove away.
Mr. Lap had known all along that he couldn’t go with his family. He had specific orders that only the immediate family members of the men in the Air Force could be on the plane. With South Vietnam on the brink of surrender, men needed to stay and be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. If Mr. Lap fled the country, he would be considered a traitor. What’s more, he knew that an entire family that stayed together would have a smaller chance. He had heard stories of families thrown in jail because they were caught fleeing. The fear for the safety of his family forced Mr. Lap to make the decision of letting them go.
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